Volume 1, Issue 1
November 4, 2020
The word of the Lord says, “…obedience is better than sacrifice” (1 Samuel 15:22). For many years, I refused to walk in obedience out of my own fear, fear of what others might say or think of me if they knew about my “guilty stains.” Little did I realize, my pain would not only become my purpose, but it would become my platform.
Like Jacob, I wrestled with God. After his struggle with God, the Lord said to Jacob, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome” (Genesis 32:28). I had not overcome. I still wrestled with my faith, wondering if God truly knew what was best for me. Yet, I began to move toward His voice and the unction of the Holy Spirit and opened the doors of my business, FLuidity Content Writing, LLC in April 2018.
I finally completed His instruction in October 2018. He had instructed me nearly twenty years before to pen my story of molestation, of a mother’s betrayal, of divorce and abortion, single motherhood, broken relationships, and isolation. I wrote and published my first eponymous book, Guilty Stains, From Pain to Deliverance: How He Erased the Stains. After my book was published, I realized my Father knew best. Men and women were purchasing my book and reaching out to me to explain how my book’s message was resonating with them. Because of my story, many people were connecting with their own pain and stepping out on faith instead of embracing fear. Our pain is never our own, but we can sometimes, quite selfishly, hold on to it out of guilt and shame. Pain is meant to be shared to help someone else move beyond their own darkness. I focused on the message of my life rather than the mess of my life, and so did my audience.
Guilty Stains is a labor of love borne out of pain. As painfully private as I was, God instructed me to share my story of pain and abuse and how that pain was made worse by locking arms with the lies of my past to protect the truth. In all actuality, I realized we empower the very people who hurt us and give them permission to continue doing so when we turn our backs to the truth. Rather than protect the victim, we protect the perpetrators. I had done that and was not living an abundant life because of it.
Generational curses are real. Within my own family, the message was clear; family secrets must remain inside the confines of the dungeons and recesses where they occurred. God decided it was time to unlock arms with the lies and embrace the truth so that I can experience true freedom. I did not realize just how many people would come forward in solidarity and transparency because of my story. FLuidity Content Writing and Guilty Stains were the keys that began to unlock the hearts and minds of many whose feet trod in footsteps like mine.
For the past eighteen months or so, I began to question God again when the naysayers started to attack me publicly for coming forward and sharing my hurt through the written word. I wondered how I could speak truth to power in His name and still be vilified because of my obedience. Yet, I never regretted sharing my message because no matter the pain I have experienced, God’s hand is mightier, and vengeance is His.
We cannot allow fear to rob us of His best. We must follow His instruction knowing that the direction of His voice will always guide us into a much greater destiny. His voice is spoken with love and out of love for His children. His voice reminds us we are here for a purpose and are uniquely His, no matter the stain, hurt, or disappointment. We must embrace the rain that will wash away the stains and allow us to flourish. We deserve so much more than fear and defeat.
Rise up. Square your shoulders. Live in the sacrifice of obedience. He is your light in the dark places.
Always my best,