We have all experienced self-doubt at one point or another in our lives. The good news is that we can transform that negative energy into positive energy and move forward. If you doubt your ability to accomplish a task or goal, rather than continue that line of thought, ask yourself what it would take to become capable of doing it.
Then, GROW into doing it… and keep growing from there. Allow self-doubt to become the seed, the fertilizer to your growth.
When you feel like you are not enough, or you are not worthy or deserving, you are likely attached to a story you’ve written about your past. What’s your story? If it is filled with doubt, it is time to rewrite your story.
Perhaps you have regrets that cause feelings of guilt? Okay. What’s next? Recreate your story. Maybe you are experiencing remorse or regret, not guilt. What's the difference? Remorse is when you feel sad or contrite about something you have done. Regret is an awareness that you should've done something differently. Guilt occurs when you’ve done something or you’ve created a perception of guilt that continues to work against the grain, against the values you hold dear. These are nuances but important ones because they may all lead you down the same road… to SHAME.
Shame is a powerful emotion that keeps you from achieving and keeps you locked into the past. You’re stuck and cannot move forward.
Guilt is only useful when you recognize that you have done something INTENTIONALLY to cause harm and you feel repentant for it. One of the biggest barriers for us, though, is when we allow ourselves to feel guilty about things that were beyond our control. The key here is the intentionality of the behavior or act. You can change your mindset by recognizing this is not how you want to operate in the world.
You may be over-analyzing the guilt, and the shame that springs forth from this contributes to a sense of unworthiness that stifles your life. We have all made mistakes; we all have regrets, things we wish we had or had not done, but it's in the past and only our awareness of it and the learning from the event are what we should be taking into the present.
If we don't leave the past in the past, we carry it with us, an energetic burden that compromises our creativity and presence in the now.
Imagine putting all your negative or limiting experiences into a bag. The bag keeps growing, and yet you don't put it down, you just keep carrying it around with you. After a while, it's so heavy you can't move forward. That could be where you're are in this moment. Is that really the way you want to envision your now?
It's time to put the bag down acknowledging the past, taking any lessons from it and using what you have learned to move forward. Experience is our greatest teacher.
I write a lot about self-love and presence of mind. Self-love is the foundation of everything. Without it, we don’t place significant value on ourselves, and so, we cannot truly value or love others. More than that, others won’t give us the value we truly deserve. Self-love generates self-esteem, self-care and self-confidence, which are all necessary to thrive in life.
You must change the way you see yourself. Be more compassionate towards yourself so you can see the beauty inherent in the spiritual being that resides within your body.
Get to know that being through self-love. When you do, you will forgive yourself from any past transgressions, choosing to be an expression of that spiritual being that inhabits your body. You will have access to that powerful energy, unburdened by the past, and step-by-step, you will move forward in your life, going after what makes you happy - because you deserve to be happy.
I say ‘goodbye’ to the old you, and say ‘hello’ to the new, unforgettable you who had the courage to remove the doubt and walk in self-love. You look ‘mahvelous,’ my darling.